How to Create the Perfect Family Mission Statement

It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten lost while driving. Probably since before the days of smart phones when I would print out faulty directions from MapQuest or accidentally leave them at home. Now I have step-by-step directions with map views at my fingertips to help me get anywhere and everywhere. Even if I know how to get somewhere, sometimes I’ll still get directions on my phone to see which way is fastest.

If we rely on maps to go even to familiar places in our lives, then why on earth do we not use the same resource in parenting?

We are hit with hundreds of questions that require decisions every day. Some answers are simple, like when your kids ask if they can have candy at 9am. Definitely no! Others cause us a little more pause. Should I allow my child to attend an event without me? Are we able to fit another extracurricular in our schedule? Is that stomach ache real or does my kid just want a day off school? And to be honest, we may never know if the decision we made was the best one.

How can we as parents confidently make so many decisions when most of the time we feel completely lost? Easy. We create a family road map. Decisions about where to spend our time, what we should say no to, and where our focus is, should be based on the road map of our Family Vision, Values and Mission.

Here are 5 easy steps you can take to create your Family Mission Statement.

Step 1: Call a Family Meeting

You can do this in as little as 15 minutes, or you can stretch the discussion as long as you want. Meet over dinner, go out to ice cream, or discuss over Saturday morning pancakes. Just find a time that your family can gather and give their full attention.

Step 2: Establish Your Vision

Your family’s vision is like a word picture of where you’re going. Who do you want to be? When people think about your family, what comes to mind? What kind of people do you want your kids, your spouse, and yourself to be?

When we sat down at our family meeting, I asked my kids several questions to facilitate the discussion.

• How do you want people to describe you when you’re not in the room?
• What kind of friend do you want to be?
• What is most important to you in a mom/dad/brother/sister?
• What do you want our family to be known for?

These questions led to a discussion of our vision for our family. I jotted down everyone’s ideas, and we quickly saw that many of our visions aligned. I grouped related ideas together and narrowed them down into our unique Family Vision.

Step 3: Identify Your Values

This is the step where that confident decision-making comes into play. When you know what you value, it becomes easy to make decisions that align with your values. If your kid wants break plans but your family values commitment, then the answer is no. If adding another sport to the schedule will take away from the family time you value, again the answer is no.

To identify your family values, ask your kids what is important to them. Keep them focused on actions, not possessions. Remember every family is different, and your values will not be the same as ours. This section might require a little more guidance based on the ages of your kids. We started the discussion by sharing some things that were important to us as parents to establish a frame of reference for our kids. Some questions you can ask include:

• What is important to you?
• What are some things mom/dad do that make you feel special?
• What makes you feel proud?
• What do you look for in a friend?

Once you’ve collected a list of values, try to combine and narrow until you have 8 to 10. You will use this list when creating your family mission statement, and also when making decisions.

Step 4: Create Your Family Mission Statement

This step is the trickiest. Your goal is to combine your vision and values into a statement that embodies your family. The good news is, there is no wrong way to create a family mission statement! And the better news is, you can always change it. If you have younger kids it is probably best for you or your spouse take the lead on this step. Try to keep your mission statement to a sentence or two that your family can memorize.

Step 5: Use It!

While the process of creating your family vision, mission and values is rewarding, you are selling yourself short if you don’t actually use it! Find a place in your home where you can display what your family is striving to be. (Check out examples on my Pinterest page.) If it’s visible, you can easily refer to it when making decisions. It also serves as a reminder to everyone to stay focused on your family’s purpose.

Make a habit of revisiting your vision, mission and values every year. You may find that you need to adapt your original ideas as your kids grow and change. When you use your family road map, you build intention and purpose into your family life.

Fundamentally, your mission statement becomes your constitution, the solid expression of your vision and values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life. – Stephen Covey