Convince Your Kids They Don’t Need a Smart Phone

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had to go back home because you forgot your smart phone and you can’t make it through the day without it? What about if you’ve ever scrolled through Facebook or Instagram and looked up to discover 30 minutes (or more!) had gone by? And how about if the first thing you do in the morning (maybe even before your coffee!) is grab your phone? I have three hands in the air over here!

Our lives as adults are completely and totally intertwined with our smart phones. We talk, text, keep track of our appointments, take pictures, and even pay with our phones. On top of that, there’s social media, games, photo editing, and countless other apps that grab our attention.

Is it really any wonder that our kids want one? Almost every kid I know wants to be bigger than they are. They want to be independent and do grown-up things. They want to be just like the adults in their lives. And what do they see all of the adults around them doing? Using smart phones – All. The. Time.

So how do we get our kids to stop asking for a smart phone? The answer is simple. We stop using ours so much.

Here are a few easy things you can do to decrease your kids’ desire for a smart phone.

1. Set Boundaries for Phone Usage

Boundaries act as guard rails to keep us on the right track. They provide us with a warning before we take a wrong turn that results in damage or catastrophe. Right now I am on the road to raising kind, responsible, hilarious, brilliant, and loving adults. In order to do that, I need to be present with them as kids. How can I expect my children to learn how to resolve their conflicts if I am too busy texting to listen to them when they are upset? How are they going to learn how to love and value others if I devalue them by staring at my phone while they tell me about their day? And how can I possibly teach them to connect to other people if I am constantly connected to my phone?

We do it by setting boundaries. These look different for every family. In my family, all of my kids are in school. The time I have with them between the bus stop and bed time is precious to me, and I want to give my kids as much of my attention as possible. Based on this, our boundary is not using phone apps when the kids are home in the afternoon – only calls and texts. Then during dinner we go dark altogether. We want our kids to know that sharing a meal with them is the most important thing we could be doing with our time.

You decide with your family what is most important, what you want to protect, and what works with your schedule. Set some technology boundaries, and then tell your kids what they are! They need to know that you are being intentional about time in front of the screen. And they will begin to see that there are things more valuable than phones!

2. Create a Smart Phone Zone

My kids developed a habit of bringing my phone to me whenever they find it lying around somewhere. I used to wonder why they thought I needed it when it wasn’t ringing. Then I realized that I must have it with me so much that they associate me with it. What a wakeup call!

When my phone is right next to me, it is so easy for me to pick it up and start scrolling through Facebook or play a game of solitaire. So why not remove the temptation? Pick a place in your house to leave all electronics. It can be a charging center, a cute basket, or a designated counter. Use the boundaries you created, and place all electronics in the smart phone zone during your screen-free time. You can even include guests in the fun too!

3. Remove Entertainment Apps

How many of you got sucked into Candy Crush, Words with Friends, Pokemon Go, Super Mario Run, Angry Birds… need I go on? I know I did. I don’t want to think about how many hours I probably spent on those games.

There is nothing wrong with the games themselves, the problem is how accessible they become when they are on your phone. So why not take them off? When we use our phones as a tool instead of as entertainment, they will become less desirable to our kids. And hey, if we don’t have games on our phones maybe our kids will stop asking for their own, and to use ours too!

4. Use Downtime and App Limits

I am pretty sure these settings were created for people like me with great intentions but very little will power. In your iPhone settings, you are able to self-regulate your phone usage. You have two options here:

• Downtime
  • With this setting you schedule a time of day where only phone calls and apps that you choose will be available. Everything else is grayed out. This is a great option for dinner time, evenings, or designated family time.
• App Limits
  • This allows you to put a time limit on things like social media, games, or entertainment. You choose a category (your phone will group related apps) and decide how much time you can spend on it. Once you’ve reached your limit, the apps gray out for the rest of the day. All of the limits reset at midnight.

Let’s face it – smart phones aren’t going anywhere. At some point our kids will own one. (Read about why I won’t buy my kids smart phones here.) Let’s lead by example and show our kids how to have a healthy relationship with technology.